I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
