Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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