every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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