Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
