I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
