About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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