so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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