Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
