Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
