I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
