your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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