So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
