i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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