Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my poor anus
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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