It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
