Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
