I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We smell like vodka and hangover
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