Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
