But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
