After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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