Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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