Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
