Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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