I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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