ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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