great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
