I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
