Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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