Its about making memories worth repressing
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
