u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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