so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
