Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
