does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
