He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
