Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
