I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
