so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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