she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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