If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
