Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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