I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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