you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
