I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
a search helicopter?!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
