He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
