I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm really busy with my period
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