great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
