marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
