Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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