Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Green mimosas i think yes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
