garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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