Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
