Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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