He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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